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Many things in life are systematically racist, however one thing in life that refuses to discriminate is pain and suffering. No matter your race, creed, color, gender, religion, everyone has experienced a form of tragedy, no matter the size. This is a bit out of the blue, but I just recently read the sample for "A Mother's Reckoning" and I wish more than anything, that I could give Sue Klebold a hug. In fact one day I hope to meet her. The reason why, has to do with past events that have occurred in my life, as well as pain that has been felt. And for whatever reason, I feel like she, of all people, would understand. I honestly have no idea if anyone even reads these journal entries. But if anyone does and wants to know what I've experienced, just let me know. I'll put it in as the next entry.
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"We all die why do I even try?" I have found me asking myself this too often to be normal. My inability to make and keep friends is tiresome to say the least. It must be my own fault, any other person wouldn't get ditched nearly as much. I've tried to end my own life more times than years I've been alive. If my parents owned a gun I would not be typing this right now....I wish they would buy one already. And yes, I know how sterotypical this all sounds. Teen girl who hates herself, is suicidal, feels conected to Columbine, loves the macabre, and is obsessed with a time she (sadly) never got to experience. Hmmm, sound familiar? *COUGH* Sol Pais *COUGH* *COUGH* (May she rest in peace, along with the other victims of Littleton Colorado, and victims to be) And for the record, if ReadyToGlare ever finds this site because of my inevitable suicide, I'd feel honored. But until then, I'll be here, surfing the web, and feeling nostalgic...